Bookworm Cottage Style

Reading serves so many different purposes in my life. First and foremost, it is a big part of my self-care/mental health toolkit. Escaping into a page-turning book allows me to tune out stressful thoughts and reset my nervous system. When I’m lost in the words on the page, I truly do not have the capacity to let intrusive thoughts or worries creep in. For this reason, popular fiction is a big part of my literary diet. 

I truly believe that all reading is good reading, and no one should feel guilty for picking up a romance novel or a mass market paperback. Sometimes a breezy, escapist read is exactly what the doctor ordered! I saw a social media post that read “my favorite English teacher just finished her PhD and celebrated by having a “year of reading frivolously,” and frankly I think we could all use a year of frivolous reading.” I felt this in my bones!

That said, reading is also a way for me to expand my worldview and learn about lived experiences of people outside of my demographic or bubble. I try to mix in educational nonfiction at least once a month or so, and I also make an effort to consume a wide diversity of fiction writing. While many of these books are incredibly captivating in their own right, I am perfectly okay with not “loving” every single book I read, as books can be valuable in so many other ways besides just entertainment. 

This Cup of Jo article by Christine Pride on the importance of reading books that reflect different cultural experiences, this Substack by Sara Hildreth (Fiction Matters) about reasons to push yourself through a book you’re not loving, and this related Fiction Matters Substack about why to read books you don’t love really spoke to me. The world would be a much more empathetic place if we opened our eyes to other people’s hardships, even if just through literature. Not all important realizations are going to be “fun,” but they can make us better people.

I also loved this quote by author Percival Everett, “I want a readership that wants to read things because the work is difficult, not because it’s only fun. I want the fun to be in figuring it out. That’s what reading is all about.” I read his book Telephone with my book club. It was one of the most thought provoking and rewarding book club conversations we’ve had thus far and I’m very glad to have read it, even though I can’t say that I particularly enjoyed the book.

For these reasons, I’ve historically had trouble deciding when to DNF (“did not finish,” in literary speak) a book, especially if it was nonfiction or about a character who I could not relate to, but wanted to learn more about. Ultimately though, I’ve realized that if I’m dreading picking up a book SO much that it’s keeping me from reading regularly, then it is time to cut my losses and move on.

Even though it still physically pains me to “quit” a book, over the past year or so, I’ve gotten a lot better at flexing my DNF muscle, due in part to my new mindset/mantra… Giving up on this book today does not mean giving up on this book forever. In other words, just because a book isn’t right for me at this particular moment in my life, doesn’t mean I can’t ever come back to it. Sometimes you just have to be in the right headspace. 

My uptick in DNF’ing also comes from a more practical place. I have been using the library more and more, and oftentimes several new-release holds will become available all at once, each with a 2-week borrowing period (no renewal). Hard choices have to be made, which sometimes means setting aside drier reads for another time when I am not so rushed.

Here are the last few books I DNF’d, and why.

• How to Sleep at Night // This book is about a progressive gay man whose husband is running for congress as a Republican. I read an interview with the author that I enjoyed and I saw that many readers whose taste I value loved it. But 100 pages in, I just didn’t have the stomach to keep reading about a Republican politician given the chaos that is American politics right now. 
• What if we Get it Right? // This book is a collection of essays about climate solutions and I’ve heard wonderful things about it. As intriguing as it is and as enjoyable as the first couple of chapters were, this is the type of book that I’d be better suited to read one chapter at a time over a longer period of time, rather than rushing to beat a library return deadline. So I’ve DNF’d it for now, and will consider finding other ways to get my hands on the book (at a pace that works for me) in the future. 
• The Last Mrs. Parrish // I was probably more than halfway through when I gave up on this one. The main character in this beachy thriller was SO manipulative and shallow and I was left with a yucky feeling after each reading session. So I decided to just scrap it and move on to something that would serve me better. 

What’s next on your reading list this year? Have you ever come back to a book after DNF’ing and had a completely different experience with it?