Bookworm Cottage Style

“The hardest part about adult friendship is, by far, scheduling time to see one another, especially when trying to plan for a group,” writes Serena Dai in one of my all-time favorite Atlantic pieces. For this reason, Dai advocates for the standing social date – something I am a HUGE fan of. One of my favorite rituals is a monthly breakfast date with one of my girlfriends (detailed below), but I’d love to pepper more regularity into the rest of my social life as well. Here are a few ideas I’ve come across that have really stuck with me and feel a little more novel and low-pressure than something like a book club.

• First Friday Brunch: There is something extra special about socializing before you start your day. For almost a decade, my friend Ashley and I met for a 7:00am pre-work breakfast at Tatte Bakery on the first Friday of every month. We were both working (and living near) the city and a Tatte was conveniently located between our workplaces. Once per month was the perfect frequency to manage, and breakfast was affordable and easy to swing on our early-career budgets. We’ve had to make a few tweaks to our ritual to make it work for post-pandemic, post-kids suburban life, but we still manage to meet at a suburban Tatte location on a Sunday morning once every six weeks or so.
• Seasonal Dinner Party: My friend Sarah hosts a seasonal dinner party for her neighborhood park friends on the official first day of that astronomical season (March 20, June 21, September 22, and December 21). What I like about this format is that the date is fixed (sometimes landing on a weeknight, sometimes landing on a weekend) so people always know when the next gathering is going to be.
• Dad’s Darts: Our friend Josh hosts a darts night in his basement each month. He sends out a group text to the same group of guys, and whoever can make it can make it, no pressure. Although it isn’t always on the same week each month, it is always on a Friday at 8pm (after kids’ bedtime routines are over, after dinner, after rush hour traffic is cleared). He keeps a well-stocked beer fridge and guests will also sometimes bring beers or chips but it is a very low-key, casual hang centered on games of darts.
• Office Hours: I saw a post online that read: I hold “office hours” every Tuesday at a local coffee shop, which means I sit on the couch and order drinks for 4-5 hours while various friends and acquaintances visit me to yap about books and gossip. I absolutely love this!! I could also see this tailored to family life or other settings like a park or brewery or even your own home.

Do you have a standing social date in your calendar? What little rituals help you keep in touch with your friends?